Dear future daughter

The first encounter,
Mine
With him, my Adonis
Scored us, and then came you
My little one

Look how cute you are
You have my nose
My pointed ones
My cute lips
And the hair too
So beautiful
You’re graceful
My pride and joy

You give me so much reason to love
To live
To impact
To empower

I tear as I write this love,
A letter to you,
From mummy.

The anticipation
News of your arrival
Yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
Will always bring smiles and tears
Smiles because, I’d see my tiny-self wrapped in a beautiful clothe in my arms looking innocently strange at the world she finds herself.
Troubled world, my love

I’d watch you grow
I’d watch you struggle finding my nipples to suck on them to feed
I’d watch you cry as grandma bathes you,
And then when she throws you in the air after bathing you,
How I’d scream hearing you cry and yell asking her to stop
But she wouldn’t listen,
Her reasons, “its tradition, so to get fear out of you “
I don’t agree baby,
But she won’t let me.
I’d watch you suck on my breast for close to six months without water or solid food
How cruel of them?
Why make such rules?

That’s fine baby,
You’d do just fine!

I’d watch you toddle
Fall and cry
Rise and smile
Laugh and hug
You’d never be alone,
I’d always be there.

This world,
My baby,
You’re vulnerable

I’d watch you take your first step
Trip and rise
Rise and stand again

My greatest pride
Definitely, the day you call me Mama
How did I get here?
It’s real
It really is.
You called me Mummy
I’d hug you,
Kiss you
Kiss you all over again
Get cupcakes and chocolates
Let’s celebrate!
Mini me would definitely love chocolates too.

I’d watch you learn new baby words
I’d watch you grow new teeth
Now you’re not well -_-
Don’t fall sick, baby
you know mummy can’t take it.
I’d never sleep until you’re well again.

That day you find your legs
The excitement
The funny bits
You, One over the eight
I’d laugh at them.
That fateful day
A walk alone
To The house of God

but my baby,
Watching you grow scares me
Eventually you’ll leave mummy
You’d go into the world .

My greatest fear, my love
your heart!
How best do you know how to keep it?

Would you tell Mummy everything?
So I help you, please?
How I’d love to!

Beautiful you
Innocent little soul
The world shouldn’t change you
Change the world
You’re never to get bitter
You’re to learn
Grow out of every situation
Let God lead you ,

Am so scared
Very terrified
Should I let you in?

When am sad,
Would you wipe my tears?
Would you hug me and say to me, mummy everything will be fine?

I’d be a jealous mummy
you wouldn’t replace me, would you?
Your peers
My heart scares for you

I’m afraid you’ll make mistakes
I’m afraid you’d be afraid to live
I’m afraid you’d be in your zone
I’m afraid you’d be all out
I’m afraid you’d want your freedom way too early.
I’m afraid you’d be rebellious
I’m afraid you’d be different
I’m afraid you’d be too perfect
I’m very afraid!

You won’t be ready!
You’d be scared too!
You’d be broken too

It’s a mean world.

No!
I don’t want to leave you all alone
Am so sorry
you won’t be here!
I can’t deal with it

My heart can’t take it
My ears can’t hear you tear
My head won’t stop thinking
My arms won’t stop moving
My legs won’t stop following you
Everywhere you go
You’d want me to stay home
Maybe sometimes
I don’t want that.
Like a puppet I’d be
but you’d hate me
DON’T____PLEASE !
You’re only human ,baby
Promise me
Promise me you’d be fine
You’d take care
Take care of your fragile self
Your egg-self

I know I owe you
I owe something
Someone
The best dad in the world
Together we’d have you
Make you
Mine
His
Ours
Forever !

Baby,
you don’t want him rule with a rod of iron?
You don’t want him over protective?
You don’t want him unsupportive?
Baby love,
Know I got you.
Borne of me
A smart mouth you’d be
Be of me
We’d find that one
Perfect for us only
For us and not the world
To him we’d trouble
To him we’d drain
To him we’d give headache
Don’t you worry
He’d come fully prepared

Let’s frustrate him when he first proposes
And then the second time
Then the third time
Until he gives up
Then we’d miss him
And ask him back ourselves

Awaiting the patter of tiny feet,
Let’s be weak
Let him pick everything for us
Our phones/ books/ anything / everything
Take us to the washroom
Bathe us
Feed us
Clothe us
Take our medicines on our behalf
Let’s watch TV
and that our channel
No football!!!
Only our wishes
Let’s make him pay
He’d run the next time he sees a girl
Until he breaks down, we’re not stopping.
We’ll be a pain in his ass.

How I’d love to have you
Have me
You, my forever,
Momma.